"I have the oldest profession in the world, and the oldest means of transportation in the world: the shoe! Think about it... We invented the shoe and with it, the world opened up in front of us. At least for a short time. As shoemakers, we laid the foundation for all the hypermodern means of transportion of our time. Pretty impressive, right? And now you actually have the opportunity to buy this amazing shoe, which is basically a piece of unique logistical history. As you can see, I'm trying to come up with a selling point. I'm not really good at this. But this shoe doesn't even need it (oops, yet another selling point). Thanks to the material combination you are wearing a smart pair of shoes without looking boring at all. If they're meant for the office, the shoes even come with a "compliment guarantee". Let me know in case you don't get any compliments, I'll make sure to personally send you some!"